Me, MomSelf and I

Life's journey is full of twists and turns and sometimes we get lost. This is my journey to rediscover myself.

Lost and Found

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“Remember that wherever your heart is, there you will find your treasure.”
Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

Recently I acknowledged something I’ve wanted my whole life. When I was a little girl, I used to love visiting my grandmother because as the designated keeper of the family history, she had like a gazillion photo albums and scrapbooks. Her albums held precious photos of people in my family dating back to the 1800s. She had postcards and letters my dad sent from Vietnam. And she had in her collection a children’s book written by my Aunt Leoncie about 2 poodles who fell in love. I remember sitting in her living room so awestruck that someone I knew, someone in my family, had written a published, actual book! It was amazing to me and I said out loud, I want to do that! So in 2nd grade, I wrote a book called The Adventures of Sheba and Diamond, based on my dog and cat. I won a Young Author’s Award for that book. I was presented with a book of poems and short stories with an inscription from my principal encouraging me to continue writing. I felt validated. I knew I could become a writer.

Somewhere along the way of growing up, getting sidetracked by religion, sowing my wild oats, and creating a family, I lost my focus for writing. Well, I should rephrase that to lost my focus for writing for me. I’ve written plenty for various jobs: articles, presentations, press releases, marketing materials. But my writing took a long pause. Even my journaling was shelved for late nights breastfeeding, researching newer healthier meal ideas, and eventually Netflix and Facebook. In the process of becoming an adult, a wife and a mother, my creative vision got blurry and I lost my passion. It got buried under all of my obligations, expectations of myself and stereotypes I bought into. “A responsible adult gets a job, works hard, remains loyal to a company, and retires after 40 years.” “A dedicated wife and mother puts everyone’s needs before her own so she can make a happy home for her family.”

Pah-leeze! Its 2016! My heart believed all along that writing was my calling. But my head needed a new narrative. “I create the life I want.” “I am responsible for my own happiness.” “If mama ain’t happy, nobody is!” Like so many other women, I have to learn to stop sacrificing myself like some martyr and take care of me. That includes feeding my passion. So here I am, finding my way back to my passion.

So, what’s your passion? What have you drifted away from that has never left your heart? Tell me in the comments!

Author: MomSelf

I reflect on being a working mother, wife, daughter, friend, advocate, and sometimes lost self, striving to become the best me and creating an extraordinary life for those I love, while making the world a better place. You can find my other writings on WISHCleveland.com.

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